You know that feeling when your friend buys a new car and suddenly you start seeing that same car everywhere?? That's exactly what happened to me. Knowing the big impact gossip has I decided to make the Gossip Cycle video, but now that I have published the video I see gossip everywhere!
If you haven't watched my gossip cycle video yet, go watch it HERE and come back to keep reading.
Now this is the thing: where I'm noticing gossiping the most is in myself. "What?! How can you admit something like that? Weren't you the one making the video??" … Yep! =) And this experience has made me more aware of how deeply woven gossip can be in our hearts. Most of the time we don't even notice!! So first lesson:
1. It takes real effort to get rid of gossip.
The first reaction we as people have to that fact is this one: "Omgosh, that is soooo true. Margaret over there needs to really shut her hole and stop talking trash about other people. Good one Freisa! Ugh I hate gossip!" Well, that's our first mistake and where the effort starts:
2. We get rid of gossip by applying this principles first and foremost to ourselves.
Do not concern yourself about that clique in your school that think they're better than the rest, or that lady from your church that prays in front of the congregation about everybody's business ("…and God please take care of Anna, because I really don't want her to get pregnant for having relations with Jeff's only son while her parents traveled to Virginia for Carol's graduation. In the name of sweet Jesus, Amen.") Focus only on yourself, of getting that twig out of your eye before your neighbors.
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Mathew 7:3-5
3. 'Gossip Cycle' as a key word.
You know how I started noticing more and more about how much gossip we talk? Well I was with a group of friends talking innocently about a person we know, when suddenly my friend passes by the table looks at me and in a sing-song tune with a smirk on her face tells me "gossip cycleeee". I think I turned more red than a strawberry! From that time on, if we find ourselves talking about something that is not our business we promptly yell out "gossip cycle!" And make a joke. Which brings me to my next point:
4. Do not be too hard on yourself.
Truth is, we've all fallen in the cycle and that's expected since the world we live in pushes us to gossip. Think about it, a great part of reality shows are based on gossip, turning people against each other, forming cliques, fighting, making up... otherwise it would be 'boring'. Gossip is what we are constantly being taught, and if we don't apply these basic anti-gossip guidelines, we are gonna go down the spiral of this viscous cycle.
5. Be careful, much gossip starts out 'innocently'